Life,  Marriage,  Motherhood

Intention: Connection

I am here.

This phrase stuck out to me as a listened to my latest favorite podcast, Find the Magic. They were touching on the topic of enjoying the younger years of childhood as a mama. One of the speakers was sharing that she often uses that phrase as her mantra to help her get through each day. You’ll hear people use the phrase “this too shall pass”. . .remembering the bad days will be over soon and the good days will pass too soon. Or maybe “the days are long, but the years are short”. Whatever your ‘mantra’ may be, I think they all centralize on the idea of refocusing us back to where we know we need to be mentally (and sometimes physically too.)

We all strive for connection. . .with our spouses, children, friends, neighbors, etc. That is why if you were able to listen in to a conversation between new acquaintances you might hear some of the below phrases:

“Where are you from?”, “What do you do for work?”, “Where did you go to school?”, “Do you have kids?”. . .

These questions are connection seekers. . .we’re all looking for that piece of information that connects us with the person we’re talking to.

So how does this play out in our own homes? Perhaps this area is the last place we truly intentionally connect and yet the most vital. Connection doesn’t just magically happen just because we all live within the same 4 walls. We need intention.

Brendon Burchard, in his book, High Performance Habits talks about how he creates ‘intention’ in every aspect of his life. Daily it may look like this:

On the way to work he creates his intention for the day for what he needs to accomplish, etc. Before he walks in the door when he gets home, he creates an intention for what he wants to show and be at home. When his son asks him for help on his homework, in just a few seconds he can create his intention for that task. . .which ultimately is not just getting his son’s homework completed and correct, but really connecting with his son during it and instilling in him the idea that his son can come to him for help with all of life’s problems.

Throughout the day these intentions can, if nothing else, help us realign our thinking with what is truly important.

Think about the things that come up in your day that you could create intentions for. Here are some of mine (you’ll see almost all of them thrive on connection) :

  1. When I first get up, I create my intention for the whole day. (Ex: I just want to show Jesus to my kids and make sure they get a lot of ‘green space’ time today.)
  2. When I am getting ready to head out the door for errands. (Ex: I want to not overspend and make sure my kids see my attention to their needs even when I have an agenda.)
  3. When we have focused play time. (Ex: I want my children to believe they are the most important thing in the world. No matter how much my dishes and laundry are calling my name, I will resist!)
  4. When I am making dinner/waiting for Stephen to get home. (Ex: I want my husband to come home to a welcoming house and feel the excitement when he walks in.)
  5. When getting the kids in bed. (Ex: I want my daughter to reflect on what God did today and her to fall asleep feeling safe and loved.)

Pause to think of some of your own daily moments.

When I start bringing intention into the picture, I am no longer whisked along as the day goes by and blindsided and stress-paralyzed when things don’t go as planned. . .pray (always first) and then create your intention.

Intention with my electronics encourages me to put my phone away or on Do Not Disturb mode so I won’t be a easily distracted mom for my children. It causes me to sit down and work on the blog with a purpose instead of just hoping something gets accomplished.

Intention with my husband means I pause what I’m doing to welcome him home when he walks in the door. I give him a big kiss and ask about his day (AND I actually listen too!)

Intention with my children means I look them in the eyes, I take the time to realize what is important to them and make it important to me too, and I purposefully teach them about the Lord. I teach with intention; that they will learn to love and reverently fear God.

Intention with my God means Bible study when I’d rather just veg. It means praying before I fall asleep because that might have been the first quiet I got all day.

It all starts with intention. Creating an aim or plan for how are you going to live and handle the day.

I want one of my big plans for my home to be connection. Not being content to all just exist together, but finding ways to truly connect with each other as human beings. I don’t want my children to grow up and the only reason they talk is because they are blood related. . .I want a lasting bond.

In the every day that means we put down our phones, we have those hard talks, we forgive, we play together, we share secrets, we learn about God together, and we just make time for each other.

All that connection that is waiting for me with my beautiful babies and husband. . .I AM HERE for that.