Marriage

Date Knight: Dating for the Busy Wife

Ok, maybe a bit cheesy but I couldn’t help but use the play on words of Date Knight. Think back to when you first started falling in love with your man. Wasn’t he your knight in shining armor? Every moment with him was exciting and thrilling. Weren’t dates just the highlight of the week? Well no need to let such memories fade and let yourself turn back into the Cinderella of wifing. Instead start with dusting off the armor by dating your husband!

We live in such a busy culture and it’s affecting our marriages. How many times have I heard the reason for divorce was because they don’t know their spouse anymore. What?! We come to this point by letting the business of parenting, working, socializing, and any number of things get in the way of our second most important relationship in this world. Now I know some of you are thinking “what would you know about this? You are young, have no kids, and still practically a newlywed”! While all of this is true, I found out quickly in marriage how hard it is to regularly date my husband! I’m a full-time teacher, help in several church ministries, coach volleyball and on top of that my husband works two jobs and is working on his master’s degree… can we say busy! But despite all of that I have learned that I need to intentionally date my husband for our relationship to continue to flourish.

What was the purpose of dating your husband when you first had interest in him?  To get to know him! For some reason after marriage this reason goes to the back burner but ask any couple who has been married 50 years plus and they will tell you they are still getting to know their spouse.

1 Peter 3:7 tells husbands to dwell with their wives “according to knowledge”. While this verse is specifically pointed to husbands it is just as important for a wife to continue getting to know her husband and a great way to do that is by dating!

The first thing about dating your husband is being intentional. Really work on setting aside time for just you and your knight! Now for you moms out there this might be difficult, but it is possible!!!! You should have time all to yourselves with NO kids. If that means waiting till the kids are in bed asleep, asking grandparents or friends to babysit, or going outside and letting the kids destroy the inside of the house then do it! Ok, not the last one but I’m sure some of you considered it for a second Ha! Now like I said I’m not a mom so take this as you will but having husband and wife time away from the kids will strengthen your marriage and teach a lifelong lesson to your children!  

Ways for wives to be intentional:

One, at the beginning of the week, set aside time for your husband and don’t let anything disrupt it. It’s so easy for me to postpone a date when friends invite us over or there is an unexpected church event that arises. But we must say No! (unless you and your husband decide going to ___ event is necessary really try to say no)

Two, be sure to include your husband in the date idea plan. As much as I love doing surprise dates, I’ve found my husband enjoys dates more when he is involved in the decision of what to do!

Now that we have briefly, and I mean briefly talked about being intentional let’s talk about actual dates!

There are so many date ideas on Pinterest but how many of you feel overwhelmed and frustrated with the fabulous unrealistic date ideas!? (I do!!) I love looking at all the ideas but often get discouraged with how little money, time, and accessibility I have to the dates. I’m going to tell you a secret… I don’t have a “Pinterest-perfect” life! These date ideas will be simple, realistic, and NOT “Pinterest-perfect”!

I asked several wives what their go to dates were. . . here they are, along with my own ideas!

  • Dessert date! Several of us wives agree you can make anything a date with a dessert! This is an inexpensive option that you can do at home or enjoy out. Make it something special and different by trying a treat from a new place! Also, adding sparkling grape juice or apple cider makes you feel a little swanky!
 
  • Listen to an audiobook! I didn’t think of this one till one of my friends mentioned it. It helps get in some great snuggling time while enjoying a book that you can discuss with your hubby!
 
  • Game time! I’m always up for a good card game or board game. Grab a few snacks and maybe have a prize for the winner. Trivia is fun too! Test your hubby’s knowledge in music, sports, or movies! (Massages are great prizes and help continue that special time with hubby whether you are giving or receiving.)
 
  • Random snack date! This one is a little goofy but so fun and different. My husband and I will go to a store like Big Lots, Ross, Ollie, TJMaxx, or the like and find some snacks and drinks we’ve never had! Most of these places carry unique brands of food and some specialty items! It’s so fun to try them with your sweetie!
 
  • Dollar store date! This is a light-hearted, silly date at any dollar store of your choice. You each get $5 and 15 minutes. When your time starts you must get the following for your spouse (something they will like):
  • An item to eat

  • Something to do

  • Small gift/ memorabilia

  • Something to drink

Take your treasures home or head to a garden, park, or a favorite spot and present your finds to your love!! 

  • Movie night! Rent a movie from Redbox or pull up Netflix but whatever you do don’t watch anything animated or where the character’s biggest problem is not having enough cookies to share with their friends… Mom’s you know what I’m talking about! Spice your movie night up by watching it on a laptop outside with tons of pillows and blankets! Don’t forget the popcorn!
 
  • The Scavenger hunt! Whether it’s at home or out on the town create a special scavenger hunt for your spouse. Each of you can create clues, list of items to find, or photos to take. There are so many options and this one is fun, memorable and cheap. My husband loves solving puzzles and I love creating them! The last one I did ended with a package of Reese’s Cups in our mailbox (do not do this in the summer they will melt! Hahaha guess how I know!)
 
  • Country themed date! Pick a country you have never been to or have and miss. Make dinner and dessert reflect the culture. Add your best accent impressions, some homemade costumes and enjoy your foreign get away with the best adventure partner! If you choose Asian or Indian be sure to eat on the floor!

I could go on and on with many more date ideas, but I hope these few will spark some interest! Be sure to share a picture of your date if you try one of the ones above! And please comment with your favorite cheap date night in ideas! And remember despite all the craziness of life, date your knight because it’s the best way to continue to know and grow closer to him!

 

Just a Christian girl in this crazy world trying to encourage, share what God has done for me, and add a little brightness to your day! I’m 24 years old, married, working, and heading to the mission field (hopefully soon)! I grew up in a pastor’s home in New Jersey and West Virginia, attended Bob Jones University, and married my best friend Benj on July 9, 2016! I love to play volleyball, basketball, read, watch movies, and bake. I teach at a special needs Christian school in SC. One of my favorite characteristics of God is He is my Friend! It is so baffling and amazing that the God of the Universe loves ‘lil ole me! I accepted Christ as my very best Friend and Savior at age 6 and this February 18th will be my 19th spiritual birthday! Praise the Lord! 
 
Shout out to Julia Grant who was my first college roommate! She discipled, encouraged, and pranked me constantly! She is a dear soul who the Lord knew I needed in that time of my life! I grew closer to the Lord that year because of her example and love and I thank Him upon every rememberance of her!